Me standing in front of the tree my parents planted when I was born.Me with powdered sugar spilt down the front of me.Me sitting at the Hogwarts dinner tableMe catapulting a desk chair into a dumpsterMe trying to drink as many Dr. Peppers as Forrest Gump at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.This was taken either: 1) when we saw a hijacker join our flight to Seattle 2) we watched a herd of cows finish making a crop circle or 3) when my wife donned her dreadful Janet Reno maskMe...Senior football playerMe (left) and 3 unnamed rogues ready to execute our 30 second toiletpapering job.Me gutting a house in the 9th Ward, New Orleans, Louisiana.Me Peering Through the Bead Wall at the W Hotel in New Orleans, LouisiannaMe sledgehammering a wall in the 9th Ward of New Orleans, Louisiana.Me and a good friend on Nerd Day at the daycamp we worked for. I swear...it was Nerd Day. Not that I don't wear my Alvin and the Chipmunks hat on other days...

 

Name:
Jonathan Stephens [Still at Large]

Country of Birth
West Germany [Can any of you say that your birth country doesn't exist anymore?]

Age
32

Marital Status
Married [not marred] - December 2001 [so I don't forget it]

Family
Wife and Daughter

T.V. Show I Wish Was Still on The Air
Inspector Gadget: Brain was the best.
Runner-up: X-Files

Fastest I've Ever Toiletpapered A House
30 seconds. It was beautiful. The guy was even waiting in his living room for us, and by the time he noticed we'd started, we were already running to the getaway car. [See picture below]

Education
CSU, Long Beach - B.A. in English w/ option in Creative Writing
CSU, Long Beach - California State Teaching Credential
CSU, Long Beach - M.F.A. in Creative Writing

Furthest I've been from Home
Namibia, Africa - December 2009. And I never would've gone if my brother and sister-in-law weren't living there in the Peace Corps. Thanks, bro!

Q & A from The Blog
What movie have you seen so often you can (nearly) recite?
Read it on The Blog

Why do you buzz your hair?
Read it on The Blog

How did you meet your wife?
Read it on The Blog

Do you like to cook?
Read it on The Blog

What do YOU think is going to happen in HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS?
Read it on The Blog

If you suspected that something you deeply believed in and treasured might not be real, would you investigate or would you bolster yourself against the doubts?
Read it on The Blog

Why did you become a writer?
Read it on The Blog

Why, how and when did you get into YA literature, and how has that affected your work as an MFA student?
Read it on The Blog

Have you ever written anything outside of your genre?
Read it on The Blog

Do you write with the goal of publication, or for yourself?
Read it on The Blog

If you don't already have an agent, who do you REALLY wish you could have?
Read it on The Blog

How do you handle rejection?
Read it on The Blog

What's your writing schedule and how do you unwind when you're finished writing something intense, where you had to dig way down?
Read it on The Blog

What are your best and worst writing-related experiences?
Read it on The Blog

If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently, knowing what you know now?
Read it on The Blog

Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
Read it on The Blog

Published Book Reviews & Interviews


WILL GRAYSON WILL GRAYSON by John Green & David Levithan
THE MAGICIAN'S ELEPHANT by Kate DiCamillo
THE SORCERESS: ... NICHOLAS FLAMEL by Michael Scott
THE TALES OF BEEDLE THE BARD by J.K. Rowling
THE MAGICIAN: ... NICHOLAS FLAMEL by Michael Scott
AFTER TUPAC AND D FOSTER by Jacqueline Woodson
My Interview with Jacqueline Woodson
THE KING'S ARROW by Michael Cadnum
RUNEMARKS by Joanne Harris
THE ALCHEMYST: ... NICHOLAS FLAMEL by Michael Scott
SONG OF THE SPARROW by Lisa Sandell
NOTES FROM THE TEENAGE UNDERGROUND by Simmone Howell
BEING by Kevin Brooks

ENDYMION SPRING by Matthew Skelton
SAINT IGGY by K.L. Going
Brian Farrey and I interview John Green
THE BOY BOOK by E. Lockhart
RAIDERS NIGHT by Robert Lipsyte

Prior Jobs that no doubt changed the world as we know it
Substitute teacher - Dictator for a Day
High School English teacher - Warden
Day Camp - Electric Fence Supervisor
Toys 'R Us - Christmas Serf
Mountain Bike Shop - Shipping Cave Dweller
Performing Arts Theatre - Printer of Tickets
Janitorial Staff - Scraper of Solidified Gum
Realtor's Assistant - Leaflet Litterer
Recycling Route - Homeless man's Aluminum can Competition

Most Expensive Article of Clothing
A $100 leather jacket I found marked down from $275 at Robinsons May. Yes, Robinsons May.

Last Time I Sleepwalked [A.K.A. somnambulism]
Freshman year in high school I woke up naked, walking through my living room, clothes strewn all over the floor. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have shared that, but my delete key is too far away. So you're stuck with that image.

What in Stuffed Mushrooms Am I Making Goals for?

Goal for 2011 - Stay the course and have fun writing.

Goal for 2010 - Polish EYES THAT LOOK TO THE SKY and get a literary agent.

Goal for 2009 - Finish writing EYES THAT LOOK TO THE SKY.

Goal for 2008 - Write another young adult novel.

Goal for 2007 - get an agent and sell NORMAL FOR ONCE.

Goal for 2006 - read 75 books. +23

Goal for 2005 - win a home poker tournament +5

Place I Want to Live Most
Right now, Vancouver, Washington. It's b-e-a-utiful.

Novels I'm Supposed to Have Read But Have Netflixed the Movie Instead
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen [I watched the Focus Features version
of this and was amazed. Great film.]
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte [terribly boring film]
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll [read the book...bleh. Boring.]
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky [read the book...ick. Boring.]
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo [I gave in and watched the movie...brilliant!!! And the book is pretty awesome too.]
The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling [read the book...it's aight.]
A Wrinkle in Time by Madelane L'Engle [this is our in-car reading right now]
The Call of the Wild by Jack London [read the book...entertaining]
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy [This movie tasted like horseradish and canned spinach]
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells [The 1960s movie was entertaining in a dated-sort-of -way. Read the book...best read on this list. Solid classic.]

Want to know something about me? Email Me your question. Maybe I'll add it.